America: A View from Mars

Humorists entertained us by asking: As Martians watch Earthlings walk behind their dogs and pick up their dogs’ poop, the Martians laugh and ask: Who is the master?

Humorists now entertain us by asking: As Martians watch countless Americans claim to love their country, and, at the same time, claim their country is systemically racist and is controlled in large part by politicians who are Nazis and liars and traitors and unworthy of a platform on Twitter, are the Martians laughing?

Humorists have a way of clearing the cloud of political-speak, and making the obvious obvious.  Steve, may he rest in peace, was fond of saying “Human beings are the some of the funniest people I know.”  He passed away before 2016.  Boy, did he miss an opportunity to entertain us!

Princeton University recently announced that its Classics Department cancelled its requirement for students on its “classics track” to have some proficiency in Greek or Latin.  Why?  Princeton explained that its purpose is “to address systemic racism”.  Really?  Doesn’t anybody at Princeton see the humor in believing that lowering academic standards is a good way “to address systemic racism”?  Are Martians laughing themselves silly?

Gun and illicit drug deaths are skyrocketing in our inner cities.  To address systemic racism, those in control of our inner cities defunded the police.  Martians are laughing themselves silly.

Republicans excitedly rant and rave all day every day about Democrats’ refusal to enforce existing immigration laws, and they endlessly publish exquisitely detailed proof that includes photographs and videos.  Democrats calmly pay no attention to what Republicans say, as they add countless soon-to-be-Democrats to the population of America.  Martians laugh their way into hysteria.

Unity, Whiteness, equity, LGBTQ+, racist, inner city high school diploma, academic freedom, and free speech are words that Martians don’t laugh at.  Why not?  Because, like countless Earthlings, Martians simply don’t know what those words mean.

Martians laugh at us all day every day — understandably.  In Steve’s wise words, human beings are some of the funniest people I know.

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